Writing Worth Reading
Writing Worth Reading
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What's the best way to bring up children? Indeed, is there a right way at all?
If everybody told the truth, pregnant women would start jumping in front of buses in droves
The only child, in a family without want, is the apex of Western civilization
Cautionary tale of modern parenting: "I’d bought into the self-esteem dogma — the idea that bathing our children in good feeling and positive reinforcement arms them with the confidence they need to lead better lives." A mistake
"Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit on your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say good night. Shake hands with them in the morning." Only now do we realise the full impact of 1920s parenting advice
"I’m seeing mothers and fathers challenge the entire social, educational, professional, and economic context of childrearing—a system, they increasingly believe, that’s made effective parenting almost unachievable"
Evolutionary anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy unpicks the "amoral logic of natural selection". Early women were not particularly gentle. Early mothers were not particularly altruistic. Mothering isn't even all that important
Fathers often withdraw physical affection when their daughters hit puberty. Awkwardness and embarrassment on both sides don't help. But dads need to forget their discomfort and show affection when teenage girls need it most
Parents from a liberated generation tussle with their overly grown-up teenage daughters over risque fashion styles. Daughters can dress provocatively. But didn't their mothers do the same?
A mother struggles to come to terms with a stillborn child. "I didn't want to share my experiences, to talk about how I felt, to discuss grief. I wanted to shout until my throat was raw and weep until my eyes swelled shut"
Children are reaching puberty earlier and earlier in life. And yet these same children are adopting adult roles later and later. Which makes for "a good deal of teenage weirdness". Fine essay explains what's really going on
Parenting debate shifts from imparting self-esteem to developing self-compassion. Tiger mums take note: "When statistically looking at self-compassion alone, the negative aspects of high self-esteem, such as narcissism, disappear"
Interesting premise: "Gifted children grow up to be more vulnerable, and less confident, even when they should be the most confident people in the room. Understanding why this happens is the first step to righting a tragic wrong"
"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences"
On the "thrilling mystery" of life with an undiagnosed manic-depressive father. "These days his child-rearing might get him charged with endangering a minor or even kidnapping, though some of what he did was just wacky"
Lighthearted interview with the famous sex author and her daughter. Both entertain with stories of Erica's long line of dubious boyfriends and Molly's wholehearted rejection of a sexually liberal lifestyle
"Ever since I moved to New York I've been meaning to go to a Columbia University football game. But it's tough to find a wingman for a trip like that. This year, I stopped asking my wife. Instead, I invited my 4-year-old daughter"
Fine takedown of Ritalin, Adderall, America's fixation on ADD drugs. "No study has found any long-term benefit of attention-deficit medication on academic performance or behavior problems." Why prescribe stimulants to children?
If your child's class has a bad teacher, the best thing you can do is to raise $100,000 among the parents and pay the teacher to quit. "A very poor teacher has the same effect as a pupil missing 40 percent of the school year"
On Tiger-mothering, and the American education system. Either your child enjoys an easy-going adolescence. Or he gets into Harvard. He can't do both. Amy Chua knows this fact of life—and that's why indulgent mothers hate her
Sleep-deprived mother knew how bad it was when she rubbed face cleanser in her hair and shampoo in her face. Calls in "baby whisperer" to solve child's sleeping problems. Pertinent advice for exhausted parents
Moody. Impulsive. Maddening. Why do teenagers act the way they do? Writer argues that some common teen traits could have an evolutionary purpose. That's to say, they're ideal for preparing adolescents for adult life
A brief history of underparenting and overparenting, as seen through New Yorker cartoons. As Mankoff says: Americans may not be smarter, or harder-working, or better-focused than Chinese—but at least their cartoons are funnier
Fed up with temper tantrums and messy mealtimes? French-style parenting may offer some pointers. It's all about teaching children patience, delayed gratification and how to play happily among themselves
Would you want your daughter to take drugs? Most parents would not. "But if she does not try a psychedelic at least once in her adult life she may have missed one of the most important rites of passage a human being can experience"
On fatherhood. Brutal. Honest. Moving. "Suddenly there was this tiny US citizen lying in bed, who looked like an ugly midget, who didn’t speak English, would cry all the time, and would occasionally shit on the floor"
The notion of the American dream has changed: "it is no longer about seizing opportunity but about realizing perfection." But something has gone wrong when parents sue preschools for inadequately preparing 4 year olds for Ivy League
New research shows that direct teaching in preschool is not as effective as allowing kids to be creative and curious under their own steam. Anxious parents don't fret. Spontaneous learning is fundamental - let your children play
Adore your kids but fed up with them not going off to sleep? Exhausted father writes funny, profane children's rhymes. Strikes chord with sleep-deprived parents everywhere. Internet postings develop into hugely successful book
Engaging personal account of being home-schooled in 1970s. Interesting on nature of education, parenting. And a counterbalance to Tiger Mom culture: "I am not teaching the children. I am permitting them to learn"
Review of Amy Chua's "Tiger Mother". Shallow, vain, manipulative. Plays on American fears of China. "Imagine your most self-congratulatory friend holding forth for two hours about her kids' triumphs, and you’ve got the narrative"
Pregnant French woman's nonchalance about her eating, drinking and, gasp, smoking habits contrasts mightily with American anxiety about foods to avoid. But France has comprehensive healthcare, much lower infant mortality than US
A mother imposes a six-month ban on her technology-transfixed teenagers. They were surprisingly adaptable. Enthusiasm, not rebellion. Take a ‘technology vacation’ and connect as a family, not to the Internet
"Fifty Dangerous Things (You Should Let your Children Do)", encourages parents to let kids fearlessly engage with the world. The fun of making camp fires and climbing trees could also increase self-reliance and sensible risk-taking
