Time Keys

Time To Build The Exoplanet Telescope

Casey Handmer | Palladium | 18th October 2024

Since Galileo, telescopes have been doubling in size every half a century. There is no reason not to go faster. Why not build a Monster Scope, "the largest physically possible space telescope", and answer big questions about the universe within the span of one human lifetime? A device with a mirror diameter of 1km would enable us to see nearby planets as clearly as we currently see the Moon (2,000 words)

The Real Keys For Winning The White House

Chandler Dean & Jonathan Van Halem | McSweeney’s | 17th October 2024

Parody of Allan Lichtman's "thirteen key" list for election prediction. Some, such as the "Sentience Key", hit home rather well: "This key is awarded if the candidate can persuade the public that they are conscious. Not environmentally conscious or socially conscious; that has never mattered. Rather, voters love knowing that the person they elect is able to perceive the external world" (800 words)