Tree Heist

To Know A Tree

Lamorna Ash | Kismet | 6th August 2025

Thoughts arising from a visit to the Totteridge Yew, London's oldest tree. It can be found in a churchyard in Barnet, at the northern end of the Northern Line. It is somewhere between 1,000 and 2,000 years old. "It is a ridiculous sort of tree, its character faintly lunatic, all those branches pointing out in different directions under a shaggy coat, a kind of manginess to its self-presentation" (2,600 words)

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The Great Sword Heist Of 2025

Talia Lavin | The Sword And The Sandwich | 1st August 2025

Post-burglary debrief. During a break-in that did not disturb any of the four people or the dog asleep in the writer's apartment, the malefactor unmounted and made off with ten huge swords that had been fixed to the wall. None were especially valuable and much pricier electronics were left undisturbed. The police "manfully refrained from laughing" because "I am the victim of an extremely silly crime" (1,800 words)